This morning I sat out on the balcony, enjoying a cup of chai and an okay book, and watched Samson walk up, stand next to his pee spot (kind of like a litter box) and tinkle. Beside it. I said his name in a disapproving way and he immediately ran back inside and hid under the couch. He knew why he was in trouble. He knows exactly where we want him to go but sometimes he can't be bothered. It frustrates me to no end because sometimes he goes days without a slip-up. He knows.
Then I realized that I'm like that, too. I know exactly what God wants from me and yet so often, like the dog, I can't be bothered. I wonder if He looks at me messing up, either doing something I shouldn't or not doing something I should, and sighs just like I do with Samson. I wonder if He thinks, Why?!? You know better! I thought you had worked this one out, put it behind you! Are you ever going to learn?
The advantage that I have over Samson is that I am the recipient of infinite grace. God knows I will do (or not do) things that will disappoint Him. In fact, He planned for it long before I was born. (Samson, on the other hand, only receives my grace which is often in short supply.)
It makes me think of a song I love (almost every situation makes me think of a song!) called For All You've Done. The second verse sneaks into my head on a regular basis:
Oh, Cleanser of the mess I've made,
Your boundless love for me portrayed.
With patience for my learning curve,
By holding back what I deserve.
(chorus) Oh, how wonderful Your mercy is!
How awesome are Your ways!
I come, I come to worship You
For all You've done.
It reminds me of how patient God is with me and that thought encourages me to try harder. Hopefully I can learn the life I need to live much faster than Samson has been learning where to tinkle.