It's hard not to be stressed out right now. Honestly, it's hard not to feel completely overwhelmed. There's so much to do and the perfectionist in me wants to do it right. My eye for detail is working overtime. I know how important this all is. This is the culmination of what we've been working on for four years. Finally, there will be a church.
And I feel so much personal responsibility. Everything we do needs to be just so. I don't want to alienate anyone by our gaffes or oversights. I want to do everything in my power to do my best.
But my best will never be good enough. My task-oriented, pragmatic nature is failing me. I've been focused on getting the job done, but have lost my true focus. Somehow, though He has taught me this lesson over and over again over the past four years, I have forgotten that God will work in spite of me. That is an impossibly hard lesson for a control freak like me to learn. Our church will grow, but it won't be because I made our publications match, our decor warm and inviting and had mastered every new song. It will have nothing to do with the sermons, the refreshments or the visitor packets. It will grow because it's what God wants. It will grow because we serve a mighty God whose greatest desire for every person is a relationship with Him. It will grow because this is part of God's eternal plan. What a relief. I'm just a helper. A tool. He's got a plan and we're all fortunate enough to be a part of it.
So why does my to-do list give me a headache?