Friday, July 06, 2007

Waiting for Normal

I'm home alone. I think it's the third time I've been home alone since we got back from furlough (over a month ago). While many of you who know me may know that at times, being alone is torture for me, I've started to really enjoy it. Before we left on furlough, there were many days that were just me and Sam. But since we've been back and have had "the kids" at our house there just haven't been many of those alone times.

I keep waiting for life to get back to normal. This is probably a lesson that those of you who are 50 or 40 or even who have actually crossed over to the big 3-0 have already learned but it's new to me. I don't think normal is coming.

I spent the last part of furlough eager to get back to normal life. I got back home to the chaos of the Auburn campaign and helping the Parkers move and looked forward to everything calming down. Now I'm looking forward to Monday, when the dear, sweet "kids" will no longer be in my home.

But today I realized that after that, we'll still have the interns here. And in a month (or less, as I have predicted), Matt and Mary Virginia will have their baby. Not too long after that, other people will head out on furlough. And...and...and...

I don't think normal is coming.

So I'm trying to figure out how to make peace with today, just how it is, and how to find peace in days that are absolutely insane. Even if I can't get my quiet time, I can be quieted. That's a challenge, especially for someone for whom quiet doesn't come easily. But if I keep waiting for normal, I'll be waiting forever and I'll miss out on all kinds of great days that weren't normal but were wonderful nonetheless.


Amanda said...

You're right, and it is a hard lesson to learn(I'm still learning). I've tried lots of different things to make it feel better, but you're also right that the only real answer is peace with God. (still working on that too) So I'll be praying, as always!

Heather A said...

So I was thinking that since Laura and I won't have any "parents" next week, we'd come invade your house. Just kidding! :) I'm sure you're ready to have your house back. I know life is crazier when you have extra workers like us to deal with. Hope the workload we carry is enough to make it worth it! We sure love being here! :)

Court said...

You hit the nail on the head Val (please pardon the cliche). When we wait for normal, we miss out, it's as simple as that. I waited for normal the first couple of years we were in Chemnitz, and it never happened. I was really depressed until I came to a realization of what I was doing to myself.

I'm sorry for all the sadness and frustration over the Parkers' departure. That is one of the most difficult losses to bear as a missionary. I've been there, too! It's hard to trust that God knows best....but it's a trust we desperately need. And I'm going to have to remember that soon, since Ed and I are going to be the ones making the move to the U.S.

Sorry for all the rambling...anyway, just wanted to let you know that I'm thinking of you and praying for you.